The European Union has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The reason? For six decades of advancing peace in Europe.

We’ve won!… Now stop dressing up like that when Angela Merkel comes calling Greece, or they’ll have it back…

Speculation continues that the committee encountered trouble finding anyone who the great unwashed public would recognise who had done anything worth a shit regarding peace on Earth.

Having transformed Europe from a collection of countries you might find anthropomorphized into a CGI version of “Neighbours From Hell”, into a collection of countries at each others  throats over a massive financial dog turd left on the expensive rug in the house they all live in together is truly an achievement.

There is apparently no truth in the rumour that the EU has been awarded the prize as a panic reaction to the fact the mud-slinging might escalate once whole countries start going hungry soon, as they buckle under the weight of “Austerity” to basically pay back Germany, who seem to be currently bankrolling everyone.

As a bonus, it is rumoured that the committee also managed to rescue part of Jimmy Saville’s headstone before it was destroyed. The Polished granite section that states “It Was Good Whilst It Lasted” will now be Araldited to the front of the EU Parliament building, alongside a 30 metre tall picture of Mr Saville giving it a “2 Thumbs Up”, which apparently was part of the deal for securing this precious item.

There is no confirmation yet on rumours that the Spanish And Greek governments have already approached the committee asking if there is a cash alternative to the prize.