Following on  the heels of  the Spiffing Wheeze’s previous article regarding erasing Mr Savile from history, and its rights and wrongs, rumour has it that MPs are meeting in secret to discuss officially declaring the whole of the 1970s a write off.

This kind of thing NEVER HAPPENED. Right?

As the Jimmy Savile scandal grows daily, those few remaining people who have not yet put their hands up to being abused, now miserably look back on ruined childhood memories of Saturday Night Jim’ll Fix It envy and nights spent in front of Top Of The Pops featuring their favourite bands irretrievably tarnished.

In order to head off a mass national glumness on a scale to match the already ruined economy, the government is formulating a plan to symbolically tie the whole shit pile up in a gigantic sack, put a couple of bricks in the bottom, and lob the fucker off the side of the Palace of Westminster into the appropriately filthy Thames.

It will then never be spoken of again.

Only the 1970s will be disposed of, even though the unmentionable one’s reign of terror on TV continued into the next 2 decades, as the decade was already, well, a bit of a skidmark in plenty of respects. Power shortages, strikes, inflation, the beginning of the end of British Industry etc.

The 1980s will now be recorded as having officially begun directly after 31st Dec 1969.

This will mean, however, that people of a certain age will have to concentrate hard on finding good memories from the 80’s to replace any memories from the 1970s. Acceptable memories suggested by a government think-tank include: Joey Deacon on Blue Peter, Ford Escort XR3is (orange ones), Thatcher, impending nuclear war with the Soviets, Yuppies, George Michael when he was still pretending, and men proudly sporting Princess Diana hairstyles.