Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying UK and Europe Economy Airlines. Good news, house prices are up. Now, about our landing…

Good news today was that the housing market showed some sign of recovery.
Is this good news? Recovery from what? Houses had become too expensive, and if anything the global financial meltdown had done the decent thing, and halted the mad spiral of prices. Shame as it was, for the poor sods who bought at its peak.
But as a multiple of the average wage, the average house price was just too high. So now with wages static, is it good that prices are going up? I think not.
Apparently, the average UK house now costs about 168 grand. Now rising in price by over 1 percent. Good news!
Are people buying houses once more? Good luck.

Meanwhile, the TV is stuffed full of adverts for payday and short-term loan companies, offering loans to the outsiders at jaw-dropping rates of 100’s or 1000’s of percent interest.
Who is allowing this merciless persecution of those least able to afford such crippling rates?
Cunts!
Has someone killed Esther Rantzen? Why does nobody give a fuck?
Who is legitimising this fiscal abomination?

Even better is the news that, thanks to deregulation of what appears in terms of planning on your high street: These legalised loan sharks will soon be able to set up shop next to all those fast food outlets, and charity shops.

That should make your average tracksuit-wearing anti-social dangerous-dog owning knuckle-dragger delighted. As that is what seems to be being created by the bagful in towns and cities up and down this country. Unemployable. No personal pride. Just a twisted need and unearned expectation for “respect”. It’s sad. Have some pride. Temper it with some humility.

Meanwhile, Jon Bon Jovi is doing a Spanish gig for free, as it’s so mortally shafted in that country that they fear nobody can afford a ticket. And over 62 percent of Greek youth will leave their exams soon, to join the unemployed.
Ladies and gentleman.
I give you… Your recovery.