Go vegetarian now. Avoid the rush!

Hmmmm. Tasty, tasty soon to be heavily taxed environmentally ruinous murder…

The EU wants to add a punitive tax to meat products so that we are encouraged to eat less meat.

The idea is that this reduces the environmental impact of meat production. It takes x tonnes of grain and water to be shovelled into the front of a cow, which then pisses shits and farts most of it out, before the shit-caked mobile mooing ecological disaster can be walked off a plank into a giant mincer, and packaged up for burgers.

This is inefficient, and if we end-consumer humans just ate the grain and drank the water ourselves, that’s better all round. That’s the theory.

There are problems with this, and compromises to be made.

For example, corn flakes will tend to fall off the BBQ grill into the fire. This would surely still be a waste of grain along the same scale?

And even those burned flakes you can successfully cook this way don’t taste that great with ketchup and gherkins, all squished together into a sesame seed bun.

Thankfully though, there are plenty of meat substitute products now that do work.

For example, Quorn mince works very well in cooking, as a beef mince replacement. Plus you’re guaranteed to avoid that slightly queasy moment you can get with beef/(horse)mince where your teeth rebound off a slightly tougher piece of who knows what from Daisy the heifer’s minced cadaver smothered in sauce. Yummy.

As Brits, the most difficult transition to meat free life may be the Sunday roast.

A nut cutlet roast instead of a bit of moo, oink, baa, or cluck on a plate seems vapid and disappointing.

But maybe we all do need to face up to the fact that with so many of us swarming on the face of this creaking planet we need to do something different.

Murdering large numbers of things out of sight, then presenting them in a sanitised way as something we can psychologically distance from the fear, pain, and suffering involved in getting it to a plate is all trickery.

But taken to extreme, if we all stopped eating meat, instead of just cutting down, what would happen to all these delicious species?

We’d still need some cows, for a bit of moo juice on the corn flakes. Henrietta and friends also get saved for popping out eggs. But the others?

Right I’m off for a Bacon sarnie…

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/407885/EU-could-hike-the-cost-of-a-Sunday-roast