200 boxes of unsealed “absolutely fuck all”

We have 200 pieces of “absolutely fuck all” that have been unsealed and so unfortunately cannot be sold.

If you like and share this posting you will receive “absolutely fuck all”.

Hurry! These 200 pieces of “absolutely fuck all” are only available to the first 10 000 or so people stupid enough to like and share. Or at least until we’ve collected enough likes and shares to sell on to someone else.

Free hammer! If you already have a hammer, such as the one pictured below, then this is now yours, absolutely free!*

Smashy smashy breaky hurty

With the free hammer you can:

Smash up your computer / phone / tablet because you’re obviously too dangerously stupid to use it. How do you even cross the road unaided?

*You must have already paid for this hammer yourself, or have previously borrowed / stolen / inherited  it. Or maybe you magicked it out of thin air in whatever la la land you live in. You get nothing. That is the point after all.

From the people that brought you:

• Fictional supermarket giftcard.
• Fictional branded sunglasses at unrealistic low price.
• Fictional unsealed games console.

Coming soon: Once in a lifetime Nigerian bank transfer out of the blue.