The pitch is: Big Brother meets Love Island meets The Only Way Is Essex etc, meets My Big Gypsy whatever.

A group of spray-tanned gym morons with American teeth and tattoos. .. trapped on a traveller’s site on an Essex roundabout, where they all compete to be the most unlikeable human flotsum bobbing in the shitter. There’s some off-camera humping, then Tyson Fury comes flying in at the end coked off his nut, and bare knuckle boxes everyone to death except one.

Working title:

The Only Way is A Big Essex Gypsy Love Bareknuckle Site Island.