Next lockdown, the government has decided you will be required to dress as an item of household  furniture, and hide in your house.  Please stay completely still between the hours of 08:00 and 18:00.
You must remain in this attire on your single weekly trip to the ration line.
Because all your jobs will be gone, after 3 months of this,  the government will expect you to supplement the government’s income by renting yourself out as this furniture item to the few remaining working people.
Or something.