Workers around the UK are relieved that the latest Tough Mudder event has been called off due to entirely predictable pandemic-related hilarity.

Office worker Gary Mashspuds said: ‘When I knew my two colleagues Dan and Sue were off doing another one of these kiddy obstacle courses for keep-fit bores, I was close to tears at the prospect of a Zoom call we have scheduled the following Monday, where they would bore us all to fuck with it. Now I can relax. ‘