spiffingwheeze

Blurred photo whilst attempting to capture lesser-spotted teenagers. They were eventually persuaded to leave their rooms for food, but, possibly fearing a trap, left hurriedly. I have taken to pretending the kitchen bin is a Star Wars droid, that loves eating the wasted food I bothered making. What’s that R69? No it’s OK. I’ll fucking tidy up again. Maybe the Marie Celeste was crewed by teenagers… who, having discovered there were no Mr Freeze ice pops or Pot Noodles, abandoned ship hoping to row to a nearby corner shop…

Just coming on here to let out a stifled scream.

I like LinkedIn. It does have many people with some interesting things to say. It also has a lot of cliche blah regurgitated forth upon it by people that seem to have graduated from The Gordon Gekko School Of How To Be Great.

Many’ s the time also, that a little bit of sick needs choking down watching yet another hackneyed clip of ‘Be all you can be’ graduation speeches from some American college. With teary-eyed youngsters with a degree in blah blah preparing to embark on a career via an unpaid internship to somehow pay off a mountain of student debt.

Like I say some of it inspiring. Too much of it is like a syrup enema administered with the help of a Karcher pressure washer.

Stop it. Or at least tone it down a bit.

Ghost of Jimmy Savile reportedly delighted at prospect of re-advertising the age of the train with new nationalised east coast mainline (again). Once they get repainted (again).

Just for a moment I thought so…

Combine your old, lost, inadequate pensions into one unstable pot from a company you have never heard of. Experience the thrill akin to being a Robert Maxwell employee back in the day. Or just put it all on red at one of the countless online casinos. Free euthenasia pills with every bet placed…

As an independent IT pirate, I’m concerned that everyone’s flapping on about GDPR etc, but nobody seems to be thinking about Y10K. Surely there’s a few years work out there for me to help companies work towards this recurring date oversight…

Does anybody else think of rude meanings for new acronyms they encounter in their work?

Probably just me then…

Of course not. Only kidding.

It just keeps getting better.

Soon: The irrelevant seating will be removed, and people will be herded on by brown shirted officials using cattle prods. Once inside the door, professional masked wrestlers will stack customers in as Korobeiniki plays at deafening volume.
Timetables for trains will all have a notional departure time of ‘when we’re fucking good and ready’. A buffet car will provide hot and cold criticism of your life, for a fee, and lager in bendy plastic cups. For this, you will be required to deposit a major internal organ each year, and sign a contract with a Mr. B Al-zebub saying ‘something something your soul’. A magnificent teetering pile of bare faced daylight robbery the likes of which has never been seen, helping foreign investors get richer than they ever imagined.

Listen to Mr Corbyn. Nationalise.