Author Archives: Mr S Wheeze

Coworkers Breathe Sigh Of Relief As Tough Mudder Cancelled

Posted on July 3, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Workers around the UK are relieved that the latest Tough Mudder event has been called off due to entirely predictable pandemic-related hilarity. Office worker Gary Mashspuds said: ‘When I knew my two colleagues Dan and Sue were off doing another … Continue reading →

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Go To Space! Because: Twats.

Posted on June 25, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Frustrated you can’t even go to, say, France? Looking to blow a fuckload of money on rocket fuel to burn the atmosphere, sat next to 5 other shaved apes, all trying to get a few minutes of your fat cadavers … Continue reading →

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Man moves bottle, shortly after other man moved bottles…

Posted on June 16, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

You’d think that with a pandemic, and all the related fuckery going on, that there would be no room in the news for this kind of bollocks. Off to fuck with it…

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G7, Chips, and a 99

Posted on June 11, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Same as everyone else probably. Maybe buy some saucy postcards, a stick of rock. Maybe a bit of crabbing.

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Never Sack The Bloke With All The Dirty Secrets…

Posted on May 27, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Basically: Man gets unbelievable opportunity to rat out everybody, having been told to sling his hook. ‘Yeah they were all shite or something. I mean, me too, but them, tch…and another thing…’ something like that. Away with it all …

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Green List Holiday Destination. Here We Come!

Posted on May 14, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Good news kids, I know it has been a difficult year or so, so I’ve booked us a break somewhere on the green list…Pack your Kevlar swimming trunks, though.

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Office Heroics 24

Posted on May 4, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

We’ll all be back in an office soon… (dafuq we will)…

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Office Heroics 23

Posted on April 21, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze
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Covid Timeline Adventures

Posted on April 9, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

My Google Maps Timeline?: Bedroom….Ensuite…Kitchen…Home office…Kitchen…Living room…Bedroom. Ooh look! SAINSBURY’S… Now the ratings..Bedroom. 3 stars. A bit farty. Noisy cat.Ensuite 4 stars. All my favourite ablution potions. Even Brut. ‘Splash it all over, you ***t’ or some such…Home Office. 2 … Continue reading →

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Post-Covid Piss Swimming Restarts…

Posted on March 29, 2021 by Mr S Wheeze

Sadists tired of open-water swimming in rivers full of animal piss, bitey fish, livid swans, and stolen mopeds celebrate the return of swimming in gallons of chlorinated water topped up with toddler piss, sweat, and strange milky bits from local … Continue reading →

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