Author Archives: Mr S Wheeze

Limited Period Offer! Vote Labour In and Get 20 Months Energy Payments Frozen!

Posted on September 26, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

    Yes. Rather than any rash promises to renationalise the whole shit-stained affair of privatised power, Ed will use his might as PM to get you a temporary discount. Whoopee shit. This is hardly the stuff of legend is … Continue reading →

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HS2: We’re All Londoners Now

Posted on August 18, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

In the news today: The HS2 rail development could end up costing around double the original projections, at around 80 billion of your  Earth pounds sterling . Additionally, the building of the snaking carbuncle dribbling mostly up the left hand side … Continue reading →

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Archbishop With Steel Conkers In Common Sense Outrage Against Payday Loan Firms

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

In an outbreak of outrageous common sense, the Archbishop Of Canterbury (no, the new one, not the other beardy one) has come out against payday loan firms. In particular, his sights have been set on Wonga. You know, the company … Continue reading →

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Heir Fired From South Of Cambridge In Human-Has-Baby Shocker.

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

The long-awaited fawning for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s baby arrival is upon us. Much unlike common people, who have horrid rat-faced common babies all the time, this one is special. Special for the Duke and Duchess because it’s … Continue reading →

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Fate: Your Metaphorca is out there.

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Not cheerful this. No apology. Triggered by the most random things, an abrupt existential thought train can spring from nowhere sometimes. This may be triggered by, say, a bored security guard showing you some video of a man walking on a … Continue reading →

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NHS helpline 111 Needs Resuscitation.

Posted on July 2, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

One of the main bidding contractors who put in to run the new 111 non-emergency service has pulled out because it won’t be profitable. This is surely a shining example of why not everything can or should be privatised and … Continue reading →

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Tax-Driven Vegetarian Apocalypse Now.

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Go vegetarian now. Avoid the rush! The EU wants to add a punitive tax to meat products so that we are encouraged to eat less meat. The idea is that this reduces the environmental impact of meat production. It takes … Continue reading →

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Real World Government Summer Camp 2013-Watford

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Yes. The Bilderberg group. Meeting in Watford, for some reason? The real world government gets together for their once-yearly meeting. Why Watford? The world elite get together in Watford? Possibly because of the nearby availability of humans fed exclusively on … Continue reading →

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Recovery. Into what state?

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Good news today was that the housing market showed some sign of recovery. Is this good news? Recovery from what? Houses had become too expensive, and if anything the global financial meltdown had done the decent thing, and halted the … Continue reading →

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Religion To Be Regulated?

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Is religion too dangerous for the average citizen? Is it time for regulation? In light of yet more grim atrocities perpetrated around the world in the name of one invisible being or another, rumours have it that the Government is … Continue reading →

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