Author Archives: Mr S Wheeze

New Game: Prison TV Fun. Free To Download.

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Changes have been proposed to UK prison life, to make inmates work, or at least behave, for privileges. Ideas for the new reward model have probably been dreamed up by a private consortium of  ne’er-do-wells who sell common sense to … Continue reading →

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Margaret Thatcher. The Lady’s Not For Burning. Er. Unless Cremated.

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

So much has been dribbled into words about the passing of Baroness Thatcher, that it almost seems pointless to piss in the pool already sloshing to brimming point on the intermaweb. Still, the PlayStation network is down for maintenance, and … Continue reading →

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Cyprus Economy “Cunted”

Posted on March 19, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Cyprus, another country that leapt aboard the Euro good-time go-go train now finds itself coming-to in the smouldering train-wreck. Penniless, with a hideous hangover, and a barking-spider like a clown’s pocket. At the weekend, the Cypriot people were in total disbelief upon hearing … Continue reading →

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Chinese Pig River DanceTragedy

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Workers in China continue to recover thousands of dead pigs from a river near Shanghai. As the enormous haul of porcine cadavers continues to be pulled from the river, which is used as a source of drinking water, locals are … Continue reading →

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Meteor Horsemeat Pasta Asteroid Apocalypse…

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Meteor Injures Hundreds in Russia – Horsemeat blamed   Hundreds of people with the time to stand around videoing things have been injured by something aflame and streaking from the sky faster that Superman shooting his bolt. Speculation that the … Continue reading →

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To Beef… Or Not To Beef…That is the Equine.

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Beef: 1. The flesh of a cow, steer, or bull raised and killed for its meat. 2. An adult cow, steer, or bull raised for its meat. 3. Informal. a. Brawn; muscular strength. b. Strength; power. c. Weight, as of … Continue reading →

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High Street? It’s For Kebab Shops And Cafes.

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

Woolworths. Clinton Cards. Comet. Jessops. HMV.The list goes on. Melted and gone. Like an ice cream carelessly held at the business end of a jet engine. Supermarkets determined to give over floor and shelf space to “non food”. Offering limited … Continue reading →

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Reality Suspension Ends.

Posted on January 2, 2013 by Mr S Wheeze

And so a week or so of non normality comes to an end. Decorations seem out of place, yet will be missed when packed away.  Items sat frozen in time since Christmas day need to be found a home. Private … Continue reading →

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Margaret Thatcher Out Of Hospital.

Posted on December 30, 2012 by Mr S Wheeze

A furious Satan expressed his anger at the continued late arrival of Lady Thatcher. Jimmy Savile is said to be inconsolable.

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No Man’s Land

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Mr S Wheeze

Between Christmas and New Year. Random acts of alcohol consumption. Getting to grips with Christmas tech you were too pissed to deal with on the big day. Getting visits from old friends. Dropping mounds of cardboard at the recycle centre. … Continue reading →

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