spiffingwheeze

Every day I wake up, he’s there by my side,
Non- wagging tail and lifelessly-eyed.
A burden to bear,
He jumps onto my back.
To be carried around,
My esteem to attack.
And he’ll stay there day-long
And he’ll whisper and moan.
Til I start to believe that I’m all on my own.
With no hope of a break from his doom laden prose,
And no sign of a lift from my spiraling woes.
Some nights I wake up and it’s too much to bear.
I stare into the dark, and I know he’s still there.
His eyes always open, and fixed upon me.
Watching and waiting for morning you see.
Because when I get up I’ll continue to try,
To fight and to struggle when I just want to sigh.
So I guess I’ll get dressed and pretend life’s a breeze.
And he’ll climb up on my back, where nobody sees.

After 9 years of austerity, and a succession of Conservative PMs and ministers driving the country apart, it’s time for another random general election.

Millions of ground-down voters with dwindling faith in anything anymore will be heading to the polls to put an X next to someone they probably don’t believe in, but who may, on paper at least, look like the least-awful option.

This will then be counted, the results entered into a spreadsheet by an army of trained Barbary apes, and it will then be printed off, bundled up tightly, and then burned in secret.

The winners will then be picked by the Illuminati as per usual.

Voters are requested to at least be imaginative in spoiling their papers.

Now the UK is effectively a dictatorship, you should expect this exciting armband through the post.

Wear it at all times.

Sigh.

Office Time Portal:

When you discover a quiet part of the office, with a noticeboard that may have been forgotten… Or even a time portal that shifts you back 20 years whilst waiting for the lift.

90’s mobile!

Cheque Book!

If there’s a thief, it’s probably an antique dealer…1997!

Blue badge scheme now open to people with invisible disabilities

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jun/15/blue-badge-scheme-now-open-to-people-with-invisible-disabilities?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

It’s all about the timing.

Has PM front-runner Boris been set up?

Would a mysterious “Mr Gove” or others have anything to gain from him having to turn up in court?

Who knows..

Indyref2. Why not. Then, as part of the deal – donate N Ireland to Scotland and let them scrap it out with Eire. Then a nice hard land-based border, that solves Brexit too. You’re welcome.
Next: An independent Wales, Cornwall, Black country, Yorkshire, and further on down until the remnants of the Iceni tribe get freedom from oppression in East Anglia. Some long overdue compensation from various countries (1066, what have the Romans ever done for us etc) So that’s cashola from (France, Italy, Denmark, Germany etc) for previous invasions, all in time for Uncle Putin to roll across a sub-divided Europe in a way so easy that Adolf Hitler would’ve given his other ball to be able to do so. Have I gone too far?

Madonna. Borrowed Cher’s vocoder. Stole The Macarana and played it slowed down. Got somebody from The Fast Show to speak over the top. Scorchio! Take up gardening or something love.